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Who Wants to Hear Fallen Rap About a Ballin’ Goldfish?

Written by Ben

Remember this? The thing where you suggest topics and Fallen raps about them? Here’s the first. So, who wants to hear Fallen rap about a Ballin’ Goldfish who comes home to find his wife dead and so seeks vengeance on the culprit, the squirrel king?

The comment/topic he picked was this one:

A ballin goldfish comes home to find his wife dead and upside down in the water, he then goes on a hunt to find the culprit, the squirrel king.

So, here it is, complete with lyrics:

Yo, there’s a Goldie lookin fish with some goldie lookin chains.
Goldie looking fins for his Goldie looking rings.
Goldie and his bitch run the flow from out the way
And they been runnin shit since they were poured down the drain.
So Goldie’s poppin bottles with some angels from the island.
When out comes this clown, talking bout some violence.
“Goldie come quick, I doubt she will survive this”
And off they all went, cautious of the silence.
Goldie arrives at his castle, door beat in.
Place is mangled, floor to ceiling.
He darts back and forth, searching for his queen.
She’s floating on her back, bloated and green.
he rages, the anger in waves so thunderous
He shakes the whole ocean, Japan to the Fuckin U.S.
Oh, But he knows who it was.
Only the squirrel king could be this fuckin nuts.
Goldie gathers troops, a school of trained killers
and moves for the roots of this fool, a damn villain.
This battle has boiled since the day he came swimming
onto the turf of the squirrels, fate did this.
Tension in the air, he knows that it’s time.
Goldie takes a deep breath, evolves, and he climbs
onto the shore, followed by the force he had gathered
they embark on a journey to the door of the palace.
He was easy to find, the squirrel king celebrating
In his great hall, unknowing that hell will rain
Down upon him, his goons, guests and family.
Goldie and his team move in, candidly.
Not a single prisoner, or miserable minion left living.
The feeling of chills slithering in the with the wind of the last breath.
Goldie walks to the king, grabs his nuts hard
says, don’t ever fuck with this carp.

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Find out more about Fallen here, and follow him on twitter here.

What do you want to hear him rap about next?! Get creative, be ridiculous, the more far fetched, the better, go!

  1. Reggie Dwight

    sick sick sick, fuck squirrels.

    my suggestion is thus..

    a spartan (the 301st) invents the common “backflip” one day while bored waiting for news from Thermopylae. Thrilled, he does it again and again, becoming more confident with each successful airborne rotation. Then, on one fateful attempt, he spins backward too fast, his head travelling much speedier than his legs. His head meets his anus, and with the sheer force of the Spartan’s mighty leap it easily passes through, and in the blink of a muscle bound eye his entire body disappears into his anal cavity.

    Dark at first, his hands feeling for the walls, his feet struggling for purchase on the uneven floor, he stumbles, blinking, through a small opening and before him, lit up like the fires of Hades… is Hades.

    and it smells like spartan poop.

  2. Barry Pincus

    LOL @ Reggie Dwight, I wonder how many people will get that reference